Our Journey to India: Lessons Learned and A Not So Simple Request

Greetings, dear readers. When I look at the calendar I cannot believe we have been in India for nearly six weeks. Time is like an elusive bird, speeding up and slowing down at will. I feel like only yesterday we were making our packing list to come here.

Now I am trying to live in the present, to enjoy the time we have left here, but I admit my thoughts stray to home sometimes. I think of my guitar lessons to come, our favorite restaurants, and our house. But all I have to do is step outside onto the street in the morning and I find myself back in the moment as cars and rickshaws whiz by, and the shops come to life.

Being present is the biggest gift that India has given me. When you walk down the road you must stay fully engaged mentally, otherwise you could fall in a hole in the sidewalk! But this country’s contributions to my life come in many colors, and so I offer five lessons learned from this great teacher.

1. Let go of ego and follow your heart: I’ve been coming to India for nearly fifteen years, and in those years I’ve taken many three-wheeled auto-rickshaws. As anyone who has traveled here can tell you, negotiation with the “auto” drivers for a price can be stressful and exasperating, especially for foreigners, but even for Indians. The drivers constantly seek to extract more money from you, and they have every story in the book at the ready. For years I haggled with them in an effort not to be cheated. If the fare was twenty rupees and they tried to charge me forty, I would fight back. Lately I’ve changed my tune. The auto drivers have a very hard life. We depend on them every day but no one really cares where they live or how they survive. When I argue with them over twenty rupees I feel like nobody wins. I am a privileged person and in a position to help them. So now I follow my heart. I urge the drivers to do the right thing, use the meter, or give me a fair price. When they do I give them a large tip and explain why. I thank them for respecting me. Sometimes I just pay the higher price if my heart tells me the driver is kind, as long as that price is still reasonable. I have felt more at ease ever since.  I want these valuable members of society to lead a dignified life, and for us to respect one another.
2. Resources are precious and limited: No matter what your political beliefs about the environment or climate change, the reality is that resources are limited. Nowhere is that more clear to me than in India. Millions do not have access to clean drinking water. The rivers of Bangalore run black with sludge and power outages are a daily occurrence. Access to resources is a privilege and India has taught me to guard those resources more carefully. Here,  you turn on outlets with a switch before you use them. You turn on a small hot water tank before a shower, then turn it off after. You cannot drink from the tap, so you have to find a way to get clean water. You think hard about what you use.
3. The world is NOT flat: I was starting to wonder if it was, working in major urban areas like Atlanta, New York, and Bangalore. Many clients talk about an “international work culture” that is developing and I see India’s young generation converging upon global consumer culture. But you drive thirty minutes outside of Bangalore and people are living lives completely removed from their urban counterparts. They are making ox carts, using cow dung for fuel, and they worry night and day about the rains. Vast cultural differences still exist, and we must be mindful of them, and, in my opinion, grateful for them.
4. A smile goes a long way: As my husband and I traveled through villages, scrub forest, and the city of Mysore on our recent holiday, we were met with stares of curiosity. Many of our fellow human beings spoke no English, and we did not speak their local language. What I found, however, is that those stares could be turned into a connection with a smile. This is not true in all cultures, but I have had so many human moments in India with just those facial muscles turning up! One of my favorite memories from our jungle trip was seeing this elderly goat herder come down every day with his livestock. We smiled at each other and that’s all we needed to say.
5. Push your comfort zone and expand  it: Life in India is not easy or convenient much of the time. Just walking down the street can be exhausting in a city like Bangalore, as you dodge cars and buses, duck under protruding pipes and wires, and breathe in diesel fumes. Even in the tourist spots you feel worn down from all of the people trying to sell you something or cheat you. But for everything India takes away it gives something back and more. Yesterday we took a shirt to a local tailor to be repaired. He assessed the damage, fired up his sewing machine, and fixed the shirt on the spot. He gave it to us and when I pulled out my wallet he said “No problem.” He insisted on not charging us. Every day when we walk to lunch or to visit friends we are rewarded with color and life. The effort of pushing our comfort zone has been repaid a hundred-fold.

 

I could probably write a book about my lessons learned from India (oh wait, I have! It’s coming out soon.)

 

I’ll end with an open plea to my second home, the incredible India:

India, please don’t be so quick to abandon some of the traditional ways of this country. We’ve heard countless stories about the people moving away from the street-side vegetable merchant in favor of going to a supermarket. The divorce rate is rising here and malls are popping up all over India. In the US, we have seen the effects of being removed from our food sources. We have seen the effect of a rampant consumer culture. The consequences of development are not all negative, but I pray that India scrutinizes them with a sharp eye. My greatest wish is that India decides what to keep and what to change.

 

I am extremely grateful for the chance to live here for the summer. I’m sure we will have many more stories to tell, so stay tuned!