The Perfectionist Monster: Just in Time for Halloween

Halloween is right around the corner, the holiday where we dress up in fun and scary costumes. But the reality is that we put on disguises every day, not just in October.

And those disguises tend to center around one word: perfectionism.

Think about how many forms it takes.

Social media posts that only show the positive. Not asking for help when you need it. Not delegating because the result might fall short of your standard. Overextending yourself and saying yes to everything. Hiding vulnerability as a leader. Projecting optimism with no room for struggle.

Even failure can become a form of perfectionism. How many times have you made a mistake and replayed it for a week, or longer?

These perfectionist disguises can be surprisingly insidious, like Billy Loomis in the movie Scream, who spends the whole film appearing caring and trustworthy before revealing himself as the villain. Perfectionism does the same thing. It shows up, often subconsciously, dressed as strength, helpfulness, or ambition.

We mask for a lot of reasons, some of them legitimate, like protection and safety. But there is a tipping point where the mask serves perfectionism more than it serves you.

So what do we do?

The last thing we want is to judge ourselves for being perfectionists!

It is really about noticing when perfectionism arrives in the guise of something good. We do not need to fix it or fight it. Just notice it, name it, and let it go.

Try this when you recognize a perfectionist costume:

• Say “There it is.” No judgment, just acknowledgment.
• Label the feeling. “Worrying.” “Planning.” “Fixing.”
• Imagine the perfectionism as a small cloud, floating past.

Repeat as needed. The whole point of the exercise is the practice itself, not the elimination of perfectionism.

I will leave you here and let you get on with your day. After all, there’s no such thing as a perfect ending. Happy Halloween!