Don’t Think of a Pink Elephant: Managing Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever told yourself, “Don’t feel nervous” or “don’t be intimidated?” How did that work for you? Research shows that telling yourself not to feel something you already feel isn’t effective and can even create a rebound effect. Press something down, and it pops back up somewhere else.

I've been thinking about this lately because of imposter syndrome. Many top-level leaders struggle with the feeling that they don't deserve a seat at the table. It's common, and a normal response to being in a position of authority.

The challenge comes in how we respond.

We can tell ourselves not to feel like an imposter. But let's try something together. Here are your instructions: don't think of a pink elephant. Whatever you do, don't think about a pink elephant. Think of anything else.

What came to mind just then? I'm willing to bet it was a pink elephant.

To manage imposter syndrome, leaders need strategies beyond sweeping feelings under the rug. Here are a few that work:

• Acknowledge the feeling. Once something is already there, give it a nod and a bit of compassion. I use the phrase "there it is." Feelings like imposter syndrome don't get to run the show, but they deserve to be seen.
• Distinguish between feeling and fact. Acknowledging a feeling doesn't mean accepting it as reality. When an airplane hits turbulence, we often feel as though the plane is dropping out of the sky. In fact, it's likely dropping only a foot or two. Fear of turbulence is real, but it is not the same as danger.
• Check in with your body. When imposter syndrome shows up, what happens physically? Just notice, without judgment. Can you shift from the noise in your head to your breath? Notice how it steadies you.
• Create a mantra. The word comes from Sanskrit, meaning roughly "instrument of the mind." A short phrase like "feelings aren't facts" or "you've got this, no matter what" can help. Acknowledge the feeling first, then repeat the mantra.
• Talk to someone you trust. If you experience imposter syndrome, you are not alone. Most leaders face it and can support one another in a confidential setting.

What I hope you take away is this: allow feelings that are already there. You still get to be the leader. You still get to decide how you respond. Go back to your center, breathe, and remember who you are.

So go ahead and think of a pink elephant. It's actually pretty fun.