If you are in any business long enough you start to
hear patterns of similar questions and concerns
expressed by your clients, no matter what industry
they belong to.
The other day while conducting a
class one of my participants raised their hand and
asked, “I want to be culturally sensitive but how
far do you go? I want to respect my student’s native
language but if they are in this country don’t they
need to learn English?”
Then a proverbial hammer hit me over the head:
before attending training, so many of my clients
feel trapped by cultural problems and they only see
two choices for a way out, either A or B. This
participant, a teacher, saw her two options as
either let her student continue to speak Spanish in
class out of respect for his culture or force him to
learn English.
To me, the answer hovered somewhere above A or B.
For example, I told her, have the student write a
short essay in Spanish, then again in Standard
English. Have a discussion in English to compare the
two essays. For older students, practice job
interview skills in English and then share Spanish
songs with the whole class.
I cannot count how many examples of the A or B
dilemma I have heard over my career, or how many
times I have felt trapped in it myself. Does this
sound familiar?
- “I either let my Mexican employee off for three
weeks to go to Mexico for his grandmother’s birthday
or I’m culturally insensitive.”
- “Should I let working mothers have more
flexibility or be fair to the whole department?”
- “Either I accommodate the other culture and
change myself or I ask them to change.”
- “If people live in the U.S., should they adapt
to U.S. culture or maintain their own culture?”
- “Should I learn about cultural patterns or does
that just solidify more stereotypes?”
Twenty years ago the A or B dilemma caused more of a
headache than anything, but not anymore. As I
mentioned in the previous edition of the newsletter,
cultural creativity could make the difference
between maintaining key relationships with
customers, clients or students and losing them to
someone who understands their needs.
Besides, A or B dilemmas still cause headaches and
who needs that these days? So instead of stocking up
on Excedrin, the headache medicine, explore your
options.
How do you get out of the A or B dilemma?
- Identify any resentment you may have about
working with people from other cultures. Why?
Because getting to options above A or
B is tough when you feel forced to. Ask yourself why
these resentments exist and if you could reframe
them.
- Start watching for A or B questions like the
ones above
- When you catch yourself asking “should I do A or
B?” say “neither”
- Get out a piece of paper
- Identify the objective of solving the problem,
not the problem itself. For example, “I want my
student to succeed in the U.S. American school
system and job market” (not “my student won’t learn
to speak English) or “I want to ensure the highest
quality of my product and keep error rates down”
(not “my Vietnamese employees won’t tell me who made
a critical error)
- Put the objective in the middle of the paper and
circle it
- Start brainstorming! Think about options
C, D, E
and beyond. Even try replacing OR with AND. For
example, “People who come to the U.S. should adapt
to U.S. culture AND maintain their own culture.”
Just get the ideas flowing for how you will meet
that objective.
- Collaborate with others and ask cultural
mentors
for help.
There is no end to how creative you can be to
work
your way out of the A or B dilemma. And the best
part is that this skill doesn’t just work across
cultures, it works across life.
If you are in any business long enough you start to
hear patterns of similar questions and concerns
expressed by your clients, no matter what industry
they belong to. 
